Should we use savings to pay tuition?

amother

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:12 am

Baruch Hashem we have a very nice amount in investments due to family help (enough to cover full tution for a few years) saved for our retirements, and to help our children get on thier feet etc. Right now, We are not able to cover tuition based on my husbands salary alone, but we can cover full tuition is we use our investments. I am not working right now as I have a few children home with me and my husband is very demanding schedule and it would affect my household functioning if I worked right now as alot of my children need me to have a very flexible schedule right now. Once my kids are all in school I do plan to work. Should we currently be using savings to pay full tuition? Full tuition for all my kids will be approx 110k, all building funds and other fees included

Of course, the school will decide if we qualify- but I am wondering if it is even appropriate or halachicly okay to even apply for tuition aide ?

amother

Peru

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:19 am

I'm using my saving to pay for my kids tuition. same situation of due to family help. just took care of transferring money from my money market to my checking account. That being said my FULL tuition is significantly less then your 110k. Am I understanding you correctly though that you probably have around 500,000 in savings in a place where tuition alone is 110k and you are old enough to have a bunch of kids? If yes that doesn't seem like a lot to me at all. nice amount needs to be relative to your costs.

I agree with previous poster that paying tuition should come before helping your adult childen get on their feet but I know that others will like disagree, especially if many people where you live get scholarships....

amother

Amaranthus

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:29 am

This hurts.
There are plenty of moms out here who work full time in order to pay tuition. They dont have the luxury of staying home with their littles. They dont have lucrative investments set aside, they live frugally etc
And their full tuition payments will be used to subsidize your discounted tuition

amother

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:30 am

amother Moccasin wrote:

I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask for tuition reduction if you have the money, but you just earmarked it as savings.

I pay tuition out of savings. It never occurred to me to ask for reduction. If I have the money, I have the money.

Does this mean you use retirement savings too? 6 months of expenses? So until your bank is zero you will not apply for assistance?

More than 500k in investements and retirement etc. And yes full tuition will look like 110k for the next 12-15 years or so, children ages 1-14, and IYH would love to have another baby or two, three. If I can swing that! Smile

amother

Lightcyan

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:31 am

amother Amaranthus wrote:

This. I'd feel punched in the gut if I found out that the school is giving tuition breaks to SAHM's who have investments & savings. I don't think it's even appropriate to ask for a tuition break in this situation.

amother

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:35 am

amother Amaranthus wrote:

I am so sorry I didnt mean to be hurtful what so ever. I am really trying to find our way here. For what is worth, my husband works for the klall, and we both actually have worked in kli kodesh for most of our marriage. My hsuband now travels for days at a time often for work, so its not so easy for me to work at this point. I worked very hard for many years and send most of my babies out to babysitters to do so. I am really sorry, I can delete this thread, I was really just wondering what is appropriate.

justforfun87

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:38 am

amother OP wrote:

Don't need to delete the thread. Your tuition is a LOT! I think it is reasonable to apply and find out what the schools say. As someone who is dealing with an aging parent, I think it is irresponsible to dip into reasonable retirement etc to pay tuition. Aging is expensive. Having a million in investments though... I don't have an answer as I am not in that situation.

I do think it is ok to apply and be straight with your financial picture and let the school decide.

amother

Amaranthus

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:38 am

amother OP wrote:

You dont need to apologize. You yourself werent being hurtful but what youre asking....if a tuition board would approve it (and from what I know of tuition boards theres a decent chance they would and it does not make it ok), then that really hurts.
How is that fair to all the families who have no savings, and who are working, both spouses, and are not eligible for a tuition break?
Their full tuition would subsidize a family who is better off than them... that in itself is hurtful.
Doesnt it feel wrong?

amother

Moccasin

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:44 am

amother OP wrote:

Honestly? Having another baby or 3 would mean you’re ‘not Able to work’ for many years to come. But also, you’re assuming that I have as many kids as you do (I don’t) that I will have more kids (I won’t) and that I’m a STAHM (I’m not) I work full time to keep putting money into my savings.

Also investments and retirement are 2 different things. No I won’t use a retirement account to pay tuition. But investments, sure!

amother

Lightcyan

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:48 am

Retirement is not the same as savings & investments to help out your adult/married children.
I don't think it's appropriate to ask for a tuition break, while saving up to be able to give financial assistance to adult children.
I'd like to save up for many things. We don't even own a home. It would never dawn on me to ask for a tuition break so that I should be able to put more money in savings.

amother

Feverfew

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:56 am

I was going to start a similar thread, but I keep on getting stuck.
We always prioritized paying full tuition or as much as possible and we dug into savings to do so.
The problem was that we never had tons of savings in the first place, and the pace of tuition meant that we were never able to save up enough for a down payment.
We're now married 20 years and we're still renting. We don't have savings and rental prices are soaring and we're really struggling.
We had a long conversation with our Rav who said, now savings is an emergency. We need to get Tomchei Shabbos, tuition breaks, whatever we can to be able to buy a small house.
Our Ravs opinion is that a couple should get tuition breaks until they can afford to buy a small house and then after that they should try to pay more.
But once a couple owns a house, has 6 months for emergencies, and some for weddings (not support) then they should start paying more

amother

Iris

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:58 am

Is full tuition more or less than the cost of educating your children. We spoke with our school and are currently paying the approximate cost of educating our children which is 3/4k less than their full tuition will be. We are not wealthy but could probably pull some money from savings to pay more if we needed to but I don't think our school expects us to bring our savings account down to 0....

amother

Kiwi

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:59 am

Put your finances before the tuition board and let them decide. This is not for us to fargin. Too many emotions, on both ends here, to help you understand if you are doing the right thing. There are people killing themselves to cover tuition and others who stay home and find value in that. Neither is wrong but that's not the question here. I would fill out the tuition assistance application and be HONEST about what you have. See what the school says.
-Signed a mom who pays MORE than full tuition, so others can pay LESS. And yes, I work very, very hard to be able to do things like this.

amother

Smokey

Tue, May 07 2024, 12:25 pm

We’ve asked for tuition breaks and were refused because we have savings.

Each school decides differently based how their donors and the larger school prob can afford to in town schools are easier with breaks (the five towns schools give breaks all the time most of the students families have investments and savings)
It’s really individual to that school.
Just ask them.

amother

Maroon

Tue, May 07 2024, 12:36 pm

I wouldn't. It's totally wrong to take a tuition break in order to stay home and put money in any savings. You have an obligation to pay for your children's tuition.

I can also put all my money in untouchable savings then and ask for breaks. It's completely wrong

amother

Ecru

Tue, May 07 2024, 12:37 pm

I personally feel like tuition should be paid using your income, assuming you bring in a regular income. Not savings.

In 5 years you'd drain your savings, and then what? Back at square one, plus you'll need tzedakah for weddings and have to beg when you're too old to work.

If this is a temporary shortfall, then yes, you dip into savings and pay it back slowly. But I don't see how it makes sense to liquidate for a regular expense.

If your savings are unusually large, then it also makes sense to allocate a portion for tuition - you were saving for your children's sakes, no? But otherwise, I don't think OP should be using her savings to pay her current tuition bill.

Savings are what keeps a family out of the devastating poverty cycle. I don't see how it's to anyone's benefit for families to be told to drain their savings (presumably much of which were put together before tuition expenses, and probably with difficulty). Now when paying high tuition OP's chances of saving are close to nil, her only chance was what she managed to put together before, and you want to take that away from her too?

There should be some burden on the schools or community to make tuition an affordable expense for the clientele they are serving. Mikvah fees are not in the thousands, not because the mikvah was cheap to build or maintain or because they like fundraising, but because they understand that the people using it need to be able to afford it.

(Personally I do not have any savings, do not own a home, and pay much more than we can afford to tuition, making many sacrifices for it.)